Life Lessons: Love 4/21/2017

You can never fall in love with the wrong person because there is no wrong person to fall in love to. Every person deserves to be loved just the way they are.

Many times people just fall in love at the improper time, improper place, and improper circumstance. Either if it is their fault or not, people end up getting hurt. (And boy did I get hurt a lot despite not being into the relationship proper itself.)

And the thing is that love is not about other people, it is about you loving people. The essence of love within you is a selfish deed and it is your own responsibility.

Love can break you or make you. How it turns out would be entirely your decision. In the past tense though, it would be your parent's.

Time is alarming. The greatest foe of love itself. It can decay the feelings over time. It can destroy the momentum it being the incorrect time. It can just be the wrong time to love. It can just be the wrong time to get hurt. It can just be the wrong time to miss.

Love as the romantic concept is something I'm sceptical about. For I know if I had a different set of memories I would feel different about it. But that just support my hypothesis that love is selfish. For it is based on your personal memories and the way you feel things.

It does not mean however that I do not believe in love. It is just that I have a different perspective about it. A more intimate and realised perspective.

An intuition that love is selfish allows me to be more responsible with it, have more understanding of it and greatest of which have greater control over it.

The thinking that love is selfish allows me progress in my inquisition to know greater about myself, for knowing myself brings peace within me and not knowing thyself is the root of all turmoil within a person and also in his or her life.

It is not about sacrificing bits of you or dying for the person you love. Greater love there is if you choose to live with the agony of life for the one you love, that is real sacrifice.

Death brings peace and the is the beauty of death. Life however can never be appreciated without love, appreciation itself is love.

Love shan't be an isolated entity out there, something divine and something that can't be stopped. We should accept that is part of us, although still cannot be stopped but something we can control. That will give one greater power over something so poetic as love.

For years I've been told that I first must love myself before I can love others for only if you have it then you can give it. They said that because I was sacrificing so much of myself with little to no concern about my intents. I was baffled with that thought because if it is true that love is something you cannot give unless you have it then how can it be that sacrifice can myself, a genuine symbol of altruism, the epitome of love itself.

I dived deep into that rabbit hole way too many times that I should be. Did I really love them or did I not was the question in my mind. I figured that I'd be lying to myself if I say I did not, the only possible conclusion that I loved myself too much. And to be precise love is the core of all my core traits.

The thought goes like this "I am fighting for them, I am building a future for them, I am going to keep going for them, and I must keep going on," or even the simplest "I love you". Those phrases have more words owned by I than them or you. The act is on you, therefore the focus is you and not them. That is when I realised that love is selfish, more selfish than you though.

Love isn't as romantic as you think it is. It shouldn't be as romanticised as it is these days. It is like art, or your handwriting, or your fingerprint, or the quantum numbers, it is different for everybody, every person, each one. It is not some grand thing that is same all though out, it is different for everyone and that is the beauty of it.

The inquisition goes on. My word of advise, follow these steps to discovering the value of love in your life or the love of your life.

Step one, know thyself, as discussed knowing thyself shut the turmoil within you allowing you do better stuff i.e. love others.

Step two, see through others, see them as you would see yourself, empathise with them.

Step three, with the first two steps complete, understand that each person is different but we're all similar in some ways, all of us are selfish and flawed, and all of us can love.

Step four, no man is an island, as discussed in the SERVITUDE excerpt, we are all flawed in some ways but with that in mind we also have strengths that others need, use that strength to exploit a.k.a. help each other.

And finally step 5, one of greatest fears is change, and that is a topic for another day, but the point is never fear CHANGE, change is a river and you are on a boat above it, sometimes it gets rough sometimes it is calm, but as you row your boat gently down the stream you might as well enjoy the sights and not just worry if your boat will sink. The point is we all change, people, things, everything, even love, never fear it.

You can't change others, but you can change yourself and with every opportunity you can change for the better, do it. If you are better, you do better, that includes loving better.

Who am I to say that? I don't know. Well that's all folks, see ya soon. Mr. E. Out.